This is Not a Recipe Website

 I have a friend who self-published all the recipes her family used on a regular basis and any stories that went along with them. I have volumes and volumes of cookbooks. Some of them home-constructed. And it's too much. I moved them so they were more convenient and now they have all but taken over my cereal cupboard. 

My kitchen is amazing. It's the reason I haven't ever moved. 

And one of my favorite and most used cookbooks has almost given up the ghost. 

Something has got to be done. 

I would go digital, but i really prefer a book. So i was thinking i would publish my own book and get my kids' input/stories/recipes as well as my own. Then i can just have one cookbook (or at least narrow it down). But how to organize it? How to make it cute? 

So... this is not a recipe website. I do not claim to be a great cook or a creative cook or even a good cook. I have kept my children alive so far, and that's enough. So I'm going to post some recipes and maybe I'll be able to figure out how to publish my recipe posts into a book. A real book.  

There's probably a better way, but i don't know it. 

Crisis

 

They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger... unless it's cancer treatment, which just makes you weaker. 

When people hear my story, they often tell me that I am strong or that they would never be strong enough to live my life. I don't feel strong. I don't think I was any stronger than anyone else was or would have been. You just keep waking up because you don't stay asleep. That doesn't mean you are strong.  Maybe I appeared strong because it seemed from the outside like my primary problem-solving techninques were effective. In reality, the phases of development of crisis took years to get to a breaking point. 

Here's what happened (in a nutshell):

Phase I: It was September. My husband  of 7 years was diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Leukemia. He went through 2 rounds of chemo, total body irradiation and a bone marrow transplant. The transplant engrafted but within a few months, he had blasts in his blood again, meaning the cancer had overwhelmed the transplant. Mike turned 30. We celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary and he was gone by the end of July, before Wade turned 2.  I was 26, a widow and single mom of 2 living sons (we lost our first son in a car crash when he was 3 months old). 

Still Phase I: I got a cute haircut and a pretty dress(not black) for the funeral. I smiled a lot and hugged everyone. I might have even cried a little, but who had time for that? I had things to do. People to meet, volunteering to sign up for. I didn't want to be alone forever. I started dating within a month. No more crying. For ten years. Maybe this looked like strength to people?  Got married again. had a couple more kids. 

Phase II: I think things had been dark for a while but i didn't really notice it because I was still in my previous problem-solving state. I was able to recognize the disabling depression with the help of my sisters and some close friends.

Phase III: I know "crisis" is supposed to be "acute" as in short-lived, but I disagree. The coping mechanisms we employ and our unintentional craziness have long-lasting effects on our lives and the lives of those around us. The ripple is unending and can be devastating. It has taken me the last 16 years to dig out of the hole and sometimes I still feel like I am grasping for the edges and drowning just a little. I have had to use all available resources: friends, sisters, parents, doctors, therapists, books, pets, God. Yes, I finally started to talking to God again. In 1998, I told him that it was ok to take Mike. I knew--for sure--that was the right thing. I was happy that Mike wouldn't suffer any more. That feeling lasted like 20 minutes. And then I was piiiiisssed. Anyway, as part of phase III, I finally began to feel God's love for me again. And I guess I loved him back. And he has become a strength and a resource to me. I'm not the strong one, here. 

Phase IV: Maybe all that time I was in phase iv. There were moments of panic, but I held it together on the outside enough that no one ever hospitalized me. 

My big brother is a retired Army Veteran. He gets annoyed and upset whenever someone calls him a hero. "I was just doing my job. That I got paid to do. I got up and I did my job, same as you." So maybe he's not strong. Maybe he's not a hero. Or maybe all of us who open our eyes the next morning are strong. Maybe we's all heroes. 

Thank you.

Chore Olympics

 I have written a couple of posts on getting organized, but overall, I'm not a very organized person.   When I had this inspiration a during the Olympics, I immediately thought of Jenn and her awesome timer.

 It's the Olympics

(well, it was when I originally wrote it) 

 

(and did you know Salt Lake City has the highest ratings of any major city in the U.S.?  I don't know if that means per capita or total number of watchers)!

I love watching the Olympics.  It's the one time I actually encourage my kids to sit and watch TV.  I love that we watch it together as a family.  It's fun.  It's inspirational.  It helps you organize!

Huh?  How can the Olympics help you organize?  It's kind of a take on Jenn's timer technique for cleaning and organizing, but it seemed to work especially well for my kids. 

When the action paused for a commercial or commentary from Bob Costas, I'd say "quick! Megan, load the dishwasher!

 

Wade, wipe off the counter!  Get back before the commercial ends!" 

  

I did have to remind Wade once that he had already seen the phone torch lighting commercial, but overall I think it made the cleaning fun and quick (not too much commitment), gave them some adrenaline and got them off the couch.  We watch the Olympics like we watch exercise videos: in complete awe.  Stunned.  Literally. 

You could even be creative about what you call your "chores."  Make them into Olympic events.

Dishes could be swimming 

or diving or even rowing.  Or just pretend that matching socks is an Olympic event and see who gets the gold, silver and bronze metals. 

Now that the Olympics are over, I'm not sure what we'll do.  Episodes of Phineas and Ferb on Netflix 

seem to run together kind of like the weeks and the months of Summer(no commercials/no chore Olympics).  We might just have to start using the timer again.

What if?

Along the beautiful Wasatch Front of the Rocky Mountains, we have an interesting (?) weather phenomenon called "The Inversion." We live in a small valley, surrounded by mountains. In the winter, cold air and particulates (pollution) become trapped in the valley which creates a pretty serious problem for people who breathe. For more info on inversions and issues surrounding air quality in the Salt Lake Valley, click HERE.

Salt Lake Tribune photo. See the clear air above the valley? 

The poor air quality lasts until we have a storm system which blows or washes the inversion out of the valley. The other day I had a thought. What if, when the air got really bad like this, we all agreed not to drive? for just one day. I'm not saying it would solve the problem, but I wonder: 

Could we do it? I mean, could we miss a day of work or school or shopping? It would be inconvenient and maybe annoying, but could we? I mean, other than like 12 people to run the emergency room... and you know, I guess several hundred to keep the residents at care centers and hospitals alive. Could we? Would we? or would it be like all the other days when UDOT asks us to take public transportation or carpool and there are still tens of thousands of cars on the freeway at any given moment? 

Today is the clearest day we've had this week.

What would the economic impact be? Would businesses lose too much money? Wouldn't people just buy twice as much food the next day? Could some people still work from home? Would hourly employees not be able to pay the bills if they missed work?

Yeah, this is clear-ish.

What would the net ecological impact be? Would one day make any difference? How much pollution do our gas cars really cause? Would Holly Refinery and 2 other major refineries in the valley be willing and able to turn off their processing of petroleum for 24 hours? Would that matter? Should we even address why petroleum refineries would choose or be allowed to set up shop here? I mean, I know it's about the money, stupid, but what about the geography, dummy? You can't really see the black smoke rising behind those tree branches in this photo, taken today (December 30, 2017).

 Does it really matter?

 

Do you think it matters? I'd love to hear your thoughts. Can we make a difference? Do we need to? 

iGGy's new room

12 years ago when we were expecting this little nugget, 
imagine a picture of Meg here. I will find one if you remind me.

I painted the office next to our bedroom a deep, rich plum,

stamped adorable sheep jumping over fences around the top and made it into the nursery. 

I collected stuffed lambs. 

We bought a lovely crib and matching dresser/changing table and a rocking chair (sigh).

We were ready for our new daughter to grace us with her presence.  

We didn't have a clue what we were in for.

If ever there were a mold, she didn't break it, she just didn't bother to use it.  

She does her own thing. 



 She is kind




 
and resourceful. 

She is creative 

and witty.

 She is talented
 and smart 

and she knows how to get things done.

i mean, when she's not busy reading about other people 
getting things done. 

------------------------------
***************

A few years later, we turned the nursery over to this nugget:

And when we were expecting this nugget:

everyone asked us how we would repaint the nursery.  

"I'm not repainting the nursery." I would say, "He can count sheep. That's my happy room. I'm not ever repainting that room. I love that room." 

Then we added one more nugget: 

 and now, baby sister is almost 3

and iGGy has been eyeing "the nursery" for at least a year. I told her that she could move down there but she had to leave the purple walls... and the sheep.  She was ok with that.  But then I realized that as happy as that room made me feel, I could give that up so that she could have a room that made her feel happy. She's the one that gets to live there. So we chose a lovely shade of her favorite color (cerulean) and she made me hot cocoa and popcorn and corralled the little ones and read aloud to me while I painted

 and in less than 2 days, we created this: 

I've never painted a door to match my colored walls, but she repeatedly requested it, so I said I'd give it a try.
 
 Queen Abby approves.
 
Now all we need is a bookshelf for her library.
 
Lots of work. A little sacrifice, but you know what?  
  
She's totally worth it. 

Women and The Priesthood in the LDS Church

Dear Friends, 

I have hesitated in sharing my thoughts on this sensitive issue because I decided, if you'll remember, to write about things that were not so significant. But also because it is so sacred to me and because it is not my intent to create ill will or cause argument on a topic which is difficult to many. I hope that my words may comfort any who sorrow.

Recently we went to see Fiddler on the Roof at the Centerpoint Theater. I think it might be my favorite musical ever. Even more favorite than Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat if that's possible. The actor who played Tevye was the finest I have seen. Remember the part where he is looking up to God, talking to him and he says, "I know, I know. We are your chosen people. But, once in a while... can't you choose someone else?"

That brings me to how I feel about holding the priesthood. You've heard the joke: "I hold the priesthood... every night when I go to bed." Ha ha. Very funny. And yet, hardly a Sunday goes by when I don't think, "Whew! I will never be called to be bishop (or stake president or... president of the church, hallelujah)!" It is true, however, that women do serve in the church in many callings that are both challenging and infinitely rewarding. If we needed to hold the priesthood to fulfill these callings, we would be given the priesthood. I'm also not promising that women won't be ordained to the priesthood in the future. I don't know because I'm not in charge, thank goodness.

I have also heard it said that the reason men hold the priesthood is because they need it in order to develop characteristics that women have naturally, such as compassion. That may or may not be true. It is an explanation some have used to explain the doctrine. Well, here is another idea along that vein: perhaps the reason women do not "hold" the priesthood is because there are traits that we need to develop which both men and women are entreated to have, such as meekness and humility.

The priesthood is defined as "The authority to act in the name of God." When I was baptized and confirmed a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, through the priesthood of God, I took upon myself the name of Christ. Likewise, all actions I take or words I say or write are done, said and written in the name of Jesus, the Son of the Living God--my Savior and my Redeemer. I may not have been given the assignment to lay my hands on heads and give "blessings" but I am able to bless and serve in the Kingdom of God in numberless ways. When I do, write or say things that he would not have me do, write or say, I have "taken his name in vain."

But if I accept the assignments I am invited to take and serve in the ways I am asked to serve, I will be blessed beyond my ability to comprehend. 

Perhaps we feel we need a particular blessing of the priesthood. Sometimes, as I'm sure you've learned, priesthood leaders cannot read our minds and we must ask for that blessing. 


God is not trying to withhold blessings from his daughters. He loves us--beyond measure.  

When the Savior(who is about his father's business) lived on the Earth, he sought to comfort and serve women. He was often surrounded by women. The women who loved him took great pains to provide for his temporal needs so that he could do his work. It was a great honor for them to serve him. It was the way they could show their love for him. 

The last thing Jesus did in his mortal life was to ask his friend to care for his Mother. 

Likewise, God has given the priesthood to his worthy and willing sons on this Earth specifically so that they would have additional ability to bless his daughters. And if those men are not worthy and willing, or if they do not do his will, they no longer have any power from him unless they repent and come unto him.

I do not write these words because they have been taught me by priesthood leaders in my church. I write these words because were given me through the Holy Spirit of God and I know in my heart and in my mind that they are true. I hope that you will ask for the spirit to help you be at peace with what is. That's what he does for his children. You are his child and he will give you this blessing.

The Air We Breathe

Dear Friends,

Despite my political viewpoint that our government was created to provide for the common defense and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity,and very little else, and I generally despise government regulation, I feel strongly that this issue is very important so I have written the following a couple of the individuals working on this refinery expansion approval. It's a long letter. Sorry.

10/30/2012

Dear Mr. Bird,

My name is Lorinda LeFevre. I have lived in Bountiful for 19 years. We live just North East of the Holly Refinery. We live in a neighborhood where of the 12 or so homes I think at least 7 of the occupants have died of blood cancers. My first husband died due to complications of leukemia (AML). It was a very aggressive cancer and he lived nine months after diagnosis, despite the most potent chemotherapy his medical staff had ever used to treat his particular condition, a lifetime maximum of total body irradiation and a bone marrow transplant from his brother who was a perfect match. I was left with 2 young sons. I was 26.

I’m sure you can imagine how difficult that was and I was grateful to find the man that I am now married to because he loves my sons as if they were his own. In addition, we have had 3 daughters and another son. We still live in the same home and about 6 years ago, my new husband was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. He also underwent chemotherapy and radiation. His treatment was successful and he is now cancer-free (yay!). He was raised very near what I am calling my “neighborhood.”

I am becoming increasingly alarmed at our air quality. Because of the way the air gets trapped in our little valley, we cannot afford to have the pollution that we have, and we certainly cannot endorse any increase in output of emissions from the local refineries. I am concerned that you are obviously unaware of the danger that this reckless attitude is perpetuating. The State Implementation Plan that is being prepared to be submitted to the EPA is woefully inadequate in terms of beginning to remedy our situation.

Here are my main concerns:

1. The imminent expansion of the Tesoro refinery and the additional emissions related to the oil refining process as well as the additional fuel emissions that will be caused by drastically increasing the heavy truck traffic that already exists there.

2. We need to insist that all of the refineries’ emissions be measured and monitored in a more reliable way. And I am certain, given the many intelligent, highly paid oil company executives, that they can develop much better technology that would decrease dangerous pollution released into the air that we and our children and our parents breathe every day. If I understand correctly, more effective filtering of particulate matter will create additional waste product that will need to be disposed of at the expense of the oil companies, but I ask you: is our health worth it?

3. I would love to see mass transit become more used in our community. The way that I see this happening is to lower the cost. Make it more affordable than driving. The more people use mass transit, the more lucrative it will become. Whenever I am on the freeway at rush hour, I am appalled at the number of people who are alone in their cars.

I’m sure when the “Pollutions” arrived in this valley, they were not aware of the problem that their activities would cause to the inhabitants of this location and because of our unique geography we are seeing and suffering from the results of their irresponsible behavior. We need to stop trading our health for money. We need to raise our standards and insist that the oil refineries conform to them. If they become uncomfortable, or if it becomes too expensive to do business here, perhaps they will find a location with a more suitable landscape and we can develop that land to be used by other lucrative businesses. It is time to stand up and take control of this situation. You are in a position to help. Please take your responsibility seriously.

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

Lorinda Hopper Beadle LeFevre
lorindalefevre@gmail.com
801-298-9421


If you have a moment and the inclination to write a letter indicating your concern about our air quality (On Halloween, because I believe the SIP will be submitted on November 1, 2012) to your state representatives, senators or to these individuals, please take the time to do so. Thanks.

Their names, titles and email addresses:

Mark Berger, Administrative Office of Rules,
mberger@utah.gov

and

Bryce Bird, director, Division of Air Quality
bbird@utah.gov

Love

Did i tell you about my new vow to post about things that are less significant?  I take myself way too seriously and I don't write enough because I write in my head for way too long and I try too hard to make each post meaningful and perfect.  

And I'm not sure I'm really ready to hear it if you think my posts are not meaningful and perfect. 

So I've been attempting to just enjoy writing and not necessarily try to change the world.  

And I wanted to acknowledge my husband for making me feel loved.  That seems to be harder than usual, lately. 

Check out these gluten-fee waffles

It's just our regular waffle recipe, made with tapioca flour and rice flour and oatmeal instead of wheat flour

Oh, Boy! Waffles

2 1/2 C flour
3/4 t salt
4 t baking powder
1 1/2 T sugar
2 eggs, beaten
2 1/4 c milk
3/4 c oil

Sift Dry ingredients.  Combine eggs, milk and oil in a separate bowl.  Add liquid ingredients to the dry and whisk together.  Cook in waffle iron.

Mr. LeFevre

the pirate looking guy in the photo

  

noticed that he had to cook them a little longer or they were doughy in the middle.  

They tasted great!